My son and I are in Texas (yeehaw!!!) this week to visit friends. We are staying at my kiddo's dad's house on a beautiful ranch.
It's magnificent and gorgeous - all the white rock and hills and formations. Truly beautiful.
When we come back to the house after long days of exploring, I want to just relax. That's where the "problem" lies. My ex and I have very different perceptions of what is relaxing. Let me set the stage:
My ex grew up in poverty. Very nice people, but very poor. Five kids and two parents in a two bedroom house. Can you imagine all the noise? Dogs barking, TVs, kids screaming and playing. My ex grew up around a ton of noise. Therefore, as we sit here now, there are three TVs on in the house, there is music coming from a video on the laptop, my son is playing Netflix on the iPad, and I am hiding in the back bathroom. I have the fan on, to drown out the sounds.
I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I'm actually shaking and grinding my teeth.
I grew up in a quiet household. The TV had a padlock on it, because my mom thought TV rotted your brain. My brother and I were avid readers. We would sit in the bathtub and read for hours. We would lay in our beds, under the covers, and read until we fell asleep at night. I used to spend hours a day in the woods, after school, silently building forts or enjoying nature.
I need quiet. My ex needs noise.
I don't know how to get away from all this yapping and shrieking and screaming and chaos. I love to go to work, where I can hide in silence and read alone.
It's hard for me, because I get so anxious and tend to freak out and be mean after ALL THIS NOISE makes me crazy. I tell both my ex and my son to BE QUIET PLEASE!!! At my house, I can control it. As much as a single mom of a six year old can control it.
Why can't everyone just be silent?
I know I'm being a bitch, but respecting my need for silence is not too much to ask. At least for an hour, while I try to nap or relax, can everyone shut the frock up?
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